Re-written and condensed later as: What Every 13 Year Old Knows
DM Jerry Monday July 19th, 1999 12:01:11 AM
It was a hot sweaty afternoon. The chores were finished. I headed for Monk's "den" as usual. The others were already there. "Monk", Ayorin was his real name, the oldest and the one who had found the place, nodded at me and continued to clean the rabbit that someone had brought in. The others were passing a pipe around. It was a big find. No one talked, but then no one ever did. Not only was there a risk of being overheard in the tavern above our "den" in the abandoned basement, but there was nothing to say. It had all been said before. Onesday was the Joining. It had never meant that much to us before, but this year, Monk was 13 and would be presented to the priests. It was said he had potential. It was said that if things went well, he might become Evange himself.
Monk said nothing about these things. But then he never did. He was not much of a talker under any circumstances. But to my surprise, after a time, he broke the silence. His talk was inconsequential at first, chatter about events that had taken place in the village. But I had the feeling that he was trying to get around to something else, something more important. Then he stopped, stared in silence for a second or two at the ceiling and said, "This place will be yours guys after the Joining."
It was difficult to know what to say. I suppose if I had thought about it at all, I would have expected that he would have passed the den on to us, but I had not thought about it. One did not think much about things connected with the Heartseeds and The Joining, and people certainly didn't talk about them. For Monk, of all people, to do so was surprising, but what he said next was more surprising still.
"In a way," he said, "I almost hope it doesn't work. I'm not sure I wouldn't rather be a Slaag."
The Slaags. Every village had a few - at that time - there were four in ours, as far as I knew - but the number was constantly changing as some moved off and others took their place. They lived in the Slaag House, which in our case stood on the corner where the two roads crossed, the one leading to the Outpost and the one leading to Blackbird Lake and was larger than all but a handful of houses.
What was known but not discussed, was that The Slaags were people for whom the Joining had proved a failure. They had Heartseeds, as normal people did, but they were not working properly. If this were going to happen, it usually showed itself in the first day or two following The Joining: the person who had been Joined showed distress, which increased as the days went by, turning at last into a fever of the brain. In this state, they were clearly in much pain. Fortunately the crisis did not last long; fortunately also, it happened only rarely. The great majority of Joinings were entirely successful.
When he was well again, the Slaag would start his wanderings. Whether it was because Slaags saw themselves as being outside the community of normal Joined people, or because the fever left a permanent restlessness in them, I did not know. But off they would go and wander through the land, stopping a day here, as long as a month there, but always moving on. Their minds certainly had been affected. None of them could settle to a train of thought for long, and many had visions and did strange things.
He said, "Do you ever wonder what things were like before The Cataclysm?"
One of the others said, "Back in the Oldlands?"
"Yes."
"Well, we know it was a Black Age. There were too many people and not enough food, so that people starved and fought each other, and there were all sorts of sicknesses and...."
"And there were no Heartseeds."
"We don't know that," one of the boys said.
"Do you remember," he asked, "four years ago, when I went to stay with my Aunt Amiltilda? Well I met some men there. Men from beyond the boundary. Men who wore no Heart Seeds. They told me of dozens of lands out there where a guy could do whatever one wanted to. No one told them what to do. Everyone was free."
"Yeah, but we know how decadent and barbaric those lands are now. Here people are safe. People are happy now that Ga'al has come to us."
"Yes I suppose you're right."
The weather stayed fine until Joining Day. The day began with a service in the chapel, which we of course couldn't attend until our Joinings. Instead Apaulos a young Evange training in our village of Adorus, gathered us in the children's creche at the temple and told us stories of Ga'al and the Emperor when he was a boy. The stories were always interesting when Apaulos told them. He didn't baby us and answered those questions that were permitted to be answered. Of course Monk was not with us. He was being presented to the town priests in the service by his parents for Joining.
After the service there was a banquet with Monk as the Presentee of Honor. I was surprised to find that Monk was the only one coming of age at this Joining. Our places at the banquet were way off from the head table in the square with the children. I looked at Monk when he stood to be toasted, wondering how he was feeling, but whatever his emotions were he did not show them.
Then the church bells began to peal and the important Aisil from the Capital City came forth to usher him in. Since there was only one to be presented from our village, Monk would travel west to a larger town to actually be Joined. This would not take as long as one would think. The Aisil had godly means of instantaneous travel from one place to the next. He would be back by morning, an adult Joined member of Ga'al and society. He stood and went with them silently. He never looked back at any of us.
No one talked or whispered or smiled. It was, we knew, a great experience for everyone who had been Joined. Even the Slaags came out from their house and stood in the same rapt silence. For me the time dragged desperately. And what about Monk leaving with Aisil he didn't know going to experience who knows what? I felt for the first time a shiver of fear in the realization that the rest of us at the next Joining would be standing there.
The partying and merrymaking lasted until dark when everyone went promptly to bed, as usual. In the morning, there was a loud clap of thunder marking the return of the Durians. I ran outside. There was Monk. He looked pale, but otherwise his face did not seem any different. The difference was in his lack of facial expressions and the pure white robe that he wore. The local priests walked with him into the temple. I wondered if this meant that he'd made the cut. If he was to be a priest himself.
Later that day, it was announced that this was the case. Monk was to be a priest, but not an Evange as had been thought. He'd done so well that he was to become one of the Illum that dealt with the heartseeds themselves. The ones who could talk to Ga'al directly. I was proud of him. Very proud.
I did not see Monk the next day, but the day after that we met when, having finished my chores, I was on the way to the den. He was with four or five other priests loading a wagon with supplies for a long journey. I called to him. He smiled and came over to me. We stood facing each other. But things were very different.
I said, "How are you?"
It was not a polite question. By now, if the Joining were going to fail, he would be feeling the pains and discomfort which would lead, in due course, to his becoming a Slaag. He said, "I'm fine."
I hesitated and blurted out, "What was it like?"
He shook his head. "You know it's not permitted to talk about that. But I can promise you that you won't be hurt. In fact, the experience is very wonderful."
I said, "But why?"
"Why what?"
"Why should Ga'al and his priests take people away and Join them with these Heartseeds? What good does it do? What right have they?"
"They do it for our good. It makes us civilized. Without the seeds there is no culture."
"But I don't see why it has to happen. I'd sooner stay as I am."
He smiled. "You can't understand now, but you will understand when it happens. It's . . ." He shook his head. "I can't describe it."
"Monk, I've been thinking." He waited, without much interest. "Of what you said, about what it must have been like before the Heartseeds and Ga'al in the Oldlands. Of the men you met who had no Heartseeds. Of how wonderful that kind of life must be."
"That was nonsense," he said, and turned and climbed aboard the wagon.
I watched the wagon wheel down the road for a time and then turned and walked on to the den feeling very much alone.
The next year has passed by quickly. The gang kept meeting after chores most days in the den. Things never went back to normal. I would sit around the fire in this doubt and brooding. I found myself becoming interested in the Slaags. I thought of them as once being like me, sane and happy and with plans for the future. I was to take over my father's Mill when the time came as I was my father's only son. Soon it would be our turn. We would be Joined to the Heartspiders and belong to Ga'al. Might as well make the best of it.
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